


Argumentum ad speculum

by belmanoir



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Rentboys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-09
Updated: 2012-04-09
Packaged: 2017-11-03 08:46:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/379497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belmanoir/pseuds/belmanoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock goes into <i>pon farr</i> at 21, and Kirk is a rentboy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Argumentum ad speculum

**Author's Note:**

> Spock's parents will help Kirk out with his little Starfleet problem, do not worry.

Spock lies on the bed: if he loses control, it will be harder to do any damage from a recumbent position. He should not be here.

If he had alerted someone when the first symptoms of _pon farr_ appeared nine days ago; if he had not accepted Captain Pike's general invitation to his officers to visit a club before leaving San Francisco; if he had not thrown that girl to the floor when she touched him; if he had not submitted to Dr. Boyce's examination; if Number One had not suggested contacting his mother at the Vulcan embassy; if his desperate mother had not decided that, as it was too late to take him to Vulcan, the simplest means of saving his life was to hire Captain Pike's favorite dancer to satisfy Spock's need--

He would not be here.

_Argumenta ad speculum_ , all of them: hypotheses contrary to fact. A logical fallacy. There is no way to prove he was not fated to be here.

Consulting his sheaf of notes (based on Amanda's instructions), the Orion boy turns up the heat. He examines the dial carefully. He is setting it to Vulcan temperatures, Spock realizes. 

From a cabinet beside the sink, the boy pulls a rag and a bottle of something that smells sickly sweet. He douses the rag with the contents of the bottle and rubs it over his face. The rag comes away green. So. Not an Orion, then.

"I see no purpose to such a deception." Spock's voice is hoarse. He hates the sound of it.

The boy looks at him in the mirror, his face streaked deep green and pink. "They say no human male can resist them." There is something rueful and at the same time genuinely amused in his voice; it heats Spock's already feverish blood.

"The human fascination with the exotic is illogical."

The boy looks over his shoulder. "I take it you speak from personal experience."

Spock does not answer.

"The value of a thing increases with its rarity," the boy says, gently. "There's nothing illogical in that."

"I am not a _thing."_ He struggles to control his anger. Usually it is easy; it has been easy for so long. As a child, he raged and screamed and pounded the floor. It is common enough for young Vulcan children to have difficulty with the disciplines which regulate anger, but his mother said, without thinking, _It's only a tantrum, I used to have them when I was small,_ and his anger became significant and frightening and shameful. Shame is the hardest emotion of all to suppress. His mind is wandering. 

"I will not lose what I am," he says. "Not even to live."

"So I'm a fate worse than death. Very flattering." The boy's hair is blond, now, and his face and hands are fresh and pink. He looks familiar. Spock examines his features more closely. There is still a faint greenish tinge to the left side of his neck. Vulcan. Heat and incense and T'Pring's dark eyes. He clenches his fists against the desire.

"You know, I've been told I'm good at this." He gives Spock a practiced smile as he turns down the light. He checks his notes again, head bowed over the pages, and Spock flashes on the great arched ceiling of the Forrest Library. 

"You go to the Academy."

The boy stills. He gives another easy smile, but now there's something hard under the ease. Spock's stomach twists with lust and repentance. "Went. I was booted out for cheating."

Only one cadet in the last ten years fits that description. "Jim Kirk. You re-engineered the Kobayashi Maru."

Kirk lights the incense silently.

"You were the best student in your year."

"I'm even better at this. And I'm still going into space. I'll have enough saved up to apply for the next Earth colony soon." Kirk sits on the edge of the bed, a foolhardy decision. "Now enough talking and let's get on with it." 

Spock rolls over to face the wall. If he looks at Kirk one more moment, his mind will be torn from him. He will--

"You're on the _Enterprise_ , aren't you?"

Spock manages to nod.

"She's a beautiful ship." There is a note of wistfulness in his voice. "She's waiting for you. Your captain's waiting for you. You want to let them down?" 

He has already let them down. He had thought he would be spared this. He had thought--he had wanted--

He can't remember what he thought, or what he wanted. He can smell the incense, and he can smell Kirk's sweat. He wants only one thing.

"They'll blame me if you die," Kirk says sharply.

"That is illogical!" He sits up, struck with horror at this new responsibility he will fail to discharge. 

Kirk is smiling. "I thought that might get your attention." He takes Spock by the upper arms. "Now listen to me. You have two options: if you keep on being stubborn, your mother told me you'll lose control anyway. You'll die raving. It'll take days, and I'll have to let all those people out there in to say goodbye to you." Spock recoils; Kirk senses his advantage and presses it. "They'll probably summon your father."

Spock makes an inarticulate noise of protest.

Kirk leans forward; his hair falls in his narrowed eyes. Spock's eyes turn towards the flash of gold. He cannot focus them. Incense and sweat and brightness in the dark, heat and a wash of green in his vision--

"Or we can deal with this right now, like men, and no one but me will see a thing."

A moth to the flame; humans say it as if it is illogical but it is not. The moth's navigational system is based on light. A biological imperative. It is unjust to blame the moth for not knowing. Kirk is flame. Spock is flame. 

There is fear and blindness and burning. He is going in the right direction.


End file.
